No realizes how stressful it is being a bookstore cat! First of all, I have to help Patricia fill the mail orders. She does the easy stuff like weighing and packing the books. I sit by the printer and anytime she prints a packing slip, I wait until the paper starts to come out and I grab it and personally inspect it. Maybe some of the pages end up bent or curled and maybe I broke the end off the paper tray. But what’s more important—having a fancy schmancy paper tray or getting those packing slips checked so they can get mailed out to customers?
Then I have to supervise Lisa emptying the water from the dehumidifier. All day long I have customers to greet and, on days when it’s slow, I sit in the window and lure passers-by in with my cuteness. I participate in all of the bookstore functions like my knitting class (technically they have an instructor named Diane but I have taught them some my own freestyle way to arrange their yarn in very creative patterns), writing group and ukulele club. Still, there are other times when I am so misunderstood. I go out of my way to give special customers extra attention. Like there was this one time a lady came in and so I went over to welcome her to the store and she just started screaming, “Oh my God, a cat!” She was so excited to see me, so it was strange when she started running towards the door. But I think she wanted to go get her friends so they could all come and play with me together. Naturally I ran after her because if her friends were as excited about cats as she was, I certainly wanted to meet them! But, before I could get to the door, someone scooped me up and made me sit in the office until she left. For the most part I love my co-workers but sometimes, they can be so rude and it makes me so mad I just want to bite their ankles. So I do.
Now, as if that weren’t enough, someone keeps shrinking all of the furniture in the bookstore! I have an idea who it is but I don’t have any proof (yet!). For example, there is a stool that I sit on every day. Just this week I jumped up on my stool and fell right off onto the floor because the surface area on top has mysteriously gotten smaller. And then, before they even ask me my name, every person who comes through the door asks me if I’m pregnant! I AM NOT PREGNANT!!! And now, to add insult to injury, my people parents have put me on a diet!
At first I was like, “No way!” (followed by the biting of their ankles). I am 16+ pounds of awesome! But then they started telling me how I was at risk for feline diabetes (I would have to get shots everyday—yikes!) and that when I get older I could have trouble walking because my legs wouldn’t be able to support my weight. So, I have just gotten on board with this whole diet thing (but it still sucks!). My waist is 23” this week so I’m trying to take an inch or two off for the holidays. I’m not a big fan of working out but I do like a good game of hide and seek. If anybody’s interested I’m usually available but be warned—I always win!
So get ready—the new slimmer, trimmer Raven is on her way!